Today’s Minute With Silence Dogood: Bluetopia
5/3/21, 6:08 PM
“On The Road to Bluetopia-Canceling a 244 Year-Old Republic”
I know as a rule, we humans are naturally skeptical of change. Personally though, I’m curious to find out what it will be like in this new pain-free country being created. Thank goodness big tech, big media and big government have collectively decided that we’re just too darn valuable to be counted on to look out for ourselves. Or work for ourselves. Or even think for ourselves. Man, just how easy has my existence become now, anyway? Who knew that, as it turns out, the keys to everyone’s happiness are government money presses, edicts and delete buttons?
Feeling pain from your student debt? No problem, it’s gone! Rent or mortgage causing you grief? Don’t pay it! So many jobs available that your head hurts from trying to choose which one to take?Hell, don’t take ANY of them! Uncle Sam’s got you with perpetual, pain-free unemployment checks that pay way more than actually working! Need to skirt designated ports of entry into the US? How ‘bout we escort you in across an illegal-yet-open border, put you up in a hotel, and pay for your bus ticket anywhere you’d like to go-with no COVID test! Someone post something on social media that goes against big tech’s orthodoxy, or offends a snowflake? Why of course, we’ll shut that down for you by censoring, deleting, kicking them off, or fact-checking them into oblivion with no actual facts…even if what you print is true.
Friends, I don’t think you realize just how good you have it now. We’ve obviously established that there is no challenge or difficulty you or your nation will face from which the overlords cannot deliver you. Whatever it is that might cause you financial discomfort, the government will create enough currency to make it go away, or confiscate it from a fellow citizen. Now your life won’t really change much because of it, but at least you’ll feel better about it. Whatever opinion might irk you, social media can cancel it. Whatever is keeping you awake at night, big media will conspire together to find a republican to blame for it.
Now, I know we might have gotten off track the past four years, what with that whole constitutional revival, individual liberty, rule of law, lower taxes, unprecedented middle-and-lower income prosperity (especially for minorities,) energy independence, non-apologetic foreign policy doctrine experiment…But I mean, that was just too much work, I guess. Even though I didn’t notice it was hard. At least we don’t have to worry about all that anymore…whew! Lord only knows where the country might be headed if big tech, big media, and big government liberals hadn’t stepped in and worked together to ensure the guy suffering from the early onset of dementia received the most votes in election history without even campaigning.
So I’d like to thank all of those involved for setting our country on the path to a new “Bluetopia,” where we’re always only one democrat executive order away from not just The Great Society, but The Perfect Society…a “pain-free” society.
Oh…Just one thing. Don’t tell Russia, Iran, or China about all of this. They’ll think we stole the idea from them.